Focus On Relationships For Better Health

Friendship, real friendship, is a precious gift that not everyone has. I’m not talking about the casual friend that you may see from time to time. I’m talking about the friend you can laugh over coffee with or bare your soul to and feel just as comfortable with both. It requires the ability to be vulnerable. What is vulnerability? At its foundation…honesty & trust. Trust that your friend cares enough about you and the honesty to share your hopes and dreams and fears. Chances are they may already know of some of these things you’ve been trying so hard to push down and hide.
How does one create friendship? By offering the same in return. Not everyone will be receptive to your openness. That’s the fear that keeps so many, especially men, from taking a chance to be open and show more depth than just small talk or sports scores. Small talk is safe…but it has no soul, no ability to create a bond, mutual respect…real friendship.
We understandably fear being rejected or exposed. Consider tiptoeing into these new waters first. Start with people you feel close to and offer up some small part of the real you that you’ve not shared in the past. Speaking as a man, it has been my experience that when you take the first step with another man it can be like giving them permission to be more open in return. I’ve taken long elevator rides with only one other person where I said something personal and the other man suddenly opened up and shared a deeply emotional thought in return. It was safe and allowed him an opportunity to open in ways he may not have shared with others in his life.
So why this discussion on friendship? Sure, friendship is fun but what’s the big deal. According to the Mayo Clinic “friends play a significant role in promoting your overall health. Adults with strong social support have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression, high blood pressure and unhealthy body mass index. “
The opposite is isolation. The feeling of isolation can be experienced by staying at home alone or in the middle of a crowd. This can also happen at any age. The National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine points out that more than one-third of adults aged 45 and older feel lonely and nearly one-fourth of adults aged 65 and older are considered to be socially isolated. Social isolation significantly increases a person’s risk of premature death from all causes, a risk that may rival those of smoking, obesity and physical inactivity.
So get out there, take some chances, try some new things, open your mind to new experiences…and go make a friend.